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    Home » Musings

    Memorial Day Traditions

    Published by Pam Kessler | 819 words. · About 5 minutes to read this article. - 29 Comments

    As a kid we would do the cemetery circuit around Memorial Day.


    We would start out by decorating one of my sister's graves. She died at a very young age, years before I was born, and is buried in the family plot in my hometown. At the time, the family plot was only occupied by this one small grave, but with time moving on this plot is quickly filling up.


    We would start by giving the headstone a cleaning if needed, pulling up any weeds, evening up the edges of the planting bed, loosening up the dirt and then planting an arrangement of drought tolerant annuals.


    Geraniums were a staple. Really, to this day I think of cemeteries when I see geraniums. Marigolds and dusty miller were other favorites. You had to stick with plants that didn't need a lot of attention and could stand the blazing summer sun.


    Last on the agenda was watering the plants. I loved this part. I would take the bucket and skip down to the pump. My Mom didn't fancy me skipping in a cemetery, but as soon as I was out of her eyesight I was skipping along, bucket swinging, pigtails flying.


    This was one of those old fashioned hand pumps that took forever and a day of pumping before water would pour out. It took almost my entire body weight pushing on that lever to move the handle. After maybe five to ten pumps (at the point that I thought my arms would explode) the water would start.

    Inevitably I would get my tennis shoes wet, because once the water started coming out of the pump, it would gush out with an impressive force. Being a kid, I never minded though. It was almost refreshing to walk back to the gravesites in wet sneakers.


    Next up was my Dad's Father's grave a couple towns over. Same procedure, different cemetery. There were a couple people who I didn't know, but who we were remotely related to, buried close by and we would pay our respects.

    Then it was off to Pennsylvania to decorate my Mom's family graves and again, a handful of people I was somehow related to, but not sure how.


    We would walk around the graveyard and my Mom would point out different people that she had known or was related to. Occasionally, we would stop at one of those graves and, if there were no flowers planted, we would take one of our extras (because we always brought extra flowers) and plant it so that they were taken care of for Memorial Day.

    I think in these instances my Mom knew that there would be no one else coming along to pretty up their gravesites.


    Occasionally we would have lunch in the cemetery. Bologna and ketchup sandwiches. Maybe peanut butter and jelly. I can remember spreading a blanket, getting the picnic basket out of the station wagon and having a relaxing lunch under the tree.

    And let me tell you there is nothing more relaxing than the quiet and solitude of a cemetery.


    Things have changed a little. My cousins in Pennsylvania primarily take care of the graves over there now.

    A few years ago, I tried to take my Mom over to my Grandfather's grave a few towns over and believe it or not neither one of us could remember where it was. And I'm not talking about the grave, I'm talking about the town! At this point she had dementia fairly badly and I don't know what my excuse was, but we never made it to the town. We finally gave up and returned home with the geraniums in the back seat.


    My Mom died last year, so I decided to plant perennials up at the family cemetery since it is a good 2 ½ hour drive from my house. It's not quite the same thing as our old routine, but it gets the job done and the graves still look like they have been cared for. I think my Mom would like the simplicity of it all.


    So, I will not be driving up there this weekend, but I will make the trip up there later in the summer. At that time I will just add some more mulch, water my sneakers a little and check on the perennials.


    I was feeling a little guilty this year that I was not doing a cemetery tour. But you know what? All the photos in this post are from a cemetery I visited this week. I don't know a sole there, but it's a great old cemetery in Columbus that has some fantastic monuments. I went there to take some photos (they actually have a photo contest, so it didn't feel too weird to walk around there with a camera).

    So I guess I did do a cemetery tour this year, just not in the traditional sense.


    So what are you doing for Memorial Day weekend this year? Any plans for visiting the cemetery?

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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. A Rosy Note

      May 27, 2011 at 11:31 pm

      What a beautiful post Pam...your words and your photos. Those sound like some special memories. I love your pictures, those moss covered statutes are just breathtaking. Thanks for sharing at Photo Feature Friday. Have a good weekend 🙂

      ~tricia

      Reply
    2. Blooming Rose Musings

      May 28, 2011 at 1:15 am

      What beautiful memories for a Memorial Day weekend. Your pictures are wonderful. In the town where I grew up there was a cemetery dating back to the Revolutionary War and people would come and do rubbings from the gravestones. They were really beautiful. Have a lovely long weekend.

      Reply
    3. [email protected]

      May 28, 2011 at 7:39 am

      What a special post!!! Loved reading about your childhood memories! Have a wonderful weekend!!!

      Reply
    4. ⚜ ↁℯℬℬᴵℰ⚜

      May 29, 2011 at 9:52 am

      Pam, I LOVE these photos. I may repost tonight some of my cemetery pics from a while back, they are my favorite actually! Enjoy the day. Your blog is looking amazing btw!!~

      Reply
    5. Debbie

      May 29, 2011 at 9:19 pm

      Hi Pam...this is a wonderful post....so full of great memories. Your pictures of the monuments are all so neat!
      Your Mom had a great tradition for Memorial weekend.
      Love this.
      Debbie

      Reply
    6. Dapoppins

      May 30, 2011 at 6:07 pm

      Your photos are just beautiful. But now I feel guilty for not going to "pretty up" my grandmother's grave. In fact, Ive never visited it.

      Reply
    7. michelle

      May 31, 2011 at 8:34 am

      What a beautiful tradition you had Pam. I think that cemeteries are beautiful and peaceful as well. We go up to my grandma and grandpa's grave and put flowers in a container, geraniums of course, and make sure that everything looks kept up. I love driving through and looking at all the headstones and markers, benches and statues. Your photos are so beautiful and the statues are perfect.
      I hope you had a great weekend.
      XO

      Reply
    8. Pam of Eastlake Victorian

      May 31, 2011 at 10:58 am

      What beautiful images from your nearby cemetery! We never visited cemeteries when I was young, but whenever I travel, I love to visit them. I find the statuary, headstones and stories fascinating. Getting to the age when I'm starting to think of what I want on my own headstone LOL! It's so nice that you put perennials at your mom's grave. Much more long-lasting, and your mom would love it.

      Reply
    9. Bonnie Schulte

      May 27, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      Tomorrow, Dh and I, will visit our oldest (he was 34) son's resting place, where we place fresh flowers, also on his birthday, and date of death. He died of cancer 16 years ago, and also, both my parents, my dad a vet, 18 years ago, so they too, will get fresh flowers. It doesn't make us sad, like it did years ago, but now, as time has passed, it is just so peaceful to visit and talk, and remember, and put flowers in the vase, for them. So many souls there have been forgotten, because families of them are no longer alive, and some have moved away. For those, I always say a prayer. and hope someday, somebody will do the same for me. What a lovely post. Thank you..

      Reply
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