Last Thursday I had a really bad day. Started out good. Ended crappy.
My son had been on spring break all that week and I’d been trying to find the right combination of blogging, keeping up on my housewife duties 🙂 and keeping him occupied with fun activities fitting of a spring break.
By Thursday, I was feeling that blogging was overshadowing any spring break festivities, so I decided to take him to the Conservatory to see their butterfly exhibit.
Doesn’t that sound wonderful? Casually walking through a whole room full of trees, flowers and waterfalls while hundreds of butterflies flitted about. Ahhh.
Nope, it was a zillion and one little kids talking in their outside voices, running around and knocking into us.
OK, I realize it was probably confusing to the kids that they were inside, but it looked like outside, but they were really inside. But it’s still not necessary to act like you’re on a playground.
All was fine though. Loud, but fine.
Until we had one kid around the age of 8 come over to me and ask me if my son was dead. His mom was two feet away and feigned deafness.
Ten minutes later, another little kid asked his Mom in a very loud voice, what was WRONG with that kid? Again, the mom obviously heard her child, yet she never apologized for her child nor did she correct her child.
And BTW, there is nothing WRONG with my son! He is different. What the heck is wrong with you I said to the kid (in my own head, of course)?
So that pretty much put a damper on our fun. Normal kids being rambunctious kids is one thing, outright rudeness being overlooked by their moms is another.
Enter Mr. Clown.
On a donkey, no less.
The next morning my son and I decided to go to the antique mall to see what was happening there. I was still in a pissy mood from the day before.
I walk around and see a few things that I am interested in, but oddly enough they are all in the glass cabinets. I don’t know about you, but if I have to ask to see something, I just don’t.
But these were sort of fun items, so I went ahead and found the guy with the keys and had him unlock the cabinets.
One of the items I was interested in was the clown.
But after seeing him outside of the cabinet, I realized that he had a hole in his head.
Nothing creepier than a clown. Add a hole in his head and we’re at a whole other creepiness level.
I told the gentleman that I didn’t think I wanted him.
Well, it ended up being his own glass case and he said he’d really like to give it to my son. For FREE.
He sort of blew me away. It was such a nice gesture (let’s forget the creepiness of said clown for a second).
So the gentleman at the antique mall and Mr. Clown changed my world.
Two days. Two different ways to treat the disabled. I pick the way of the clown.
Cozy Little House
Pam, I’m so sorry this happened. I grew up with a very “different” grandmother. She looked like a grandmother, but in her brain she was locked in at about 9 years old from childhood scarlet fever. I guess that’s where I get not wanting to be noticed. Poor kid. We’re all different. Some of us just are more different than others. Kudos to the man in the antique mall!
Brenda
Ceekay-THINKIN of HOME/Doublewide Decor
You know, the thing of it is….we are are “different” in one way or another. Too bad that mom didn’t take a perfect opportunity to teach her son something….and what a wonderful example the store man was of graciousness.
Marissa
Pam, so sorry to hear this.. I have two nephews who are brothers one with Autism spectrum the other with Aspergers syndrome.. and this is way too familiar.. Sometimes Adults are already stunned that their children have just blurted the un-thinkable they don’t know how to react..I feel parents need to teach their children how to properly behave around children with disabilities.. Its such a shame how parents don’t teach any of that … The man at the antique mall… has a wonderful heart!!
Vickie @ Ranger 911
I’ve taken some time off from blogging, too, because I just haven’t had the time to visit everybody. I’ve got a little time today to catch up, and your thought provoking post proves that a little “nice” goes a long way. Kids will be kids, but they need to learn good behavior from parents with good manners.
Gorgeous photos of the flowers, Pam!
Melinda
It is amazing what kids say.
We work very hard at school
to help the general ed kids to
understand our that kids are just
like them. We even have to “clue”
in some of the adults too.
It’s too bad the parents didn’t step
up and remedy the situation!
Keep being the great advocate for
your son!
M 🙂
Sally
Pam, this is a great post. My sister has 3 special needs kids – each of them amazing and wonderful and “special” in their own way. I’m sure she deals with stories similar to yours all the time. Parents who let their kids speak out inappropriately like that are missing tremendous learning experiences with their kids — a chance to teach their kids compassion and kindness.
You are an awesome mom, and I love that you tell it like it is — which isn’t always easy. God bless you girlfriend! xo ~Sally
Julie
It makes me sad when I read of someone being treated this way. I start to wonder what this world is coming to. And then I read of the great kindnesses of others, like the man at the antique store, and my faith in humanity is restored (at least for awhile, anyway). It just goes to show that the small things we do, good or bad, can make a huge difference in someone’s life.
Olive
Awesomeness Pam. The man who gave the clown is kind and thoughtful and does give one hope that our society is not totally lost. I have plenty to say about the rude kids and even more to say about the moms but will refrain. I will say this-parents who think their kids can do no wrong-those are the same parents I talked to, on the phone, about their inmate felon grown sons.
Carlene @ Organized Clutter
I hope and pray that in my lifetime I will see the day that everyone is accepting and kind to someone who is different. Is it too much to ask?
Ellie VanCaster
Great post Pam-it is so sad to hear about those parents ignoring the bad behavior. I understand exactly what you mean and it’s never easy. Thank God the man the next day was so kind. It doesn’t take away the bad behavior but I hope it helps. God Bless you for being a great Mom-just the kind of Mom your son needs.
Stacey
I’m so glad that you and your precious son had the encounter with the nice person. Really most people are nice, I think. There are an awful lot of unruly un-parented kids these days. I blame it on cell phones. Seems the parents are always on the phone.
TARYTERRE
Fortunately the world is not full of rotten little kids and parents who ignore them. The man with the clown was an angel in disguise to renew your faith in people. I’m glad he did. And that your son had a nice time at the antique mall.
Becky @ Vintage 541
Hi Pam, sending you and your son a great big virtual hug! I deal with this from time to time too. (My daughter has both Down syndrome AND Autism). I love the pictures of the orchids by the way. So pretty! And who knew clowns could be so creepy and cool all at the same time? Thanks for sharing this post!
Becky @ Vintage 541
Joanne Noragon
I can only echo all of the above. Sadly I can believe in this day and age parents remain clueless about parenting. You are my model of a good mom.
Anonymous
What is with the parents of young children these days??..That was totally rude of them to ignore their children’s remarks & they should have instructed their children to give an apology & an explanation later at home so it doesn’t happen again..God made us all differently & we are to love everyone regardlessly..Your son was the bigger person & I hope he enjoys the clown!!
Karen K from Buffalo
MamaMonki
I’m sorry you and your son had to put up with that kind of behavior at the conservatory.
Ocean Breezes and Country Sneezes
I can only hope that that mom was just stunned and didn’t know how to react, and then spoke to her child about being more accepting of people who may be a little different than them!
I wish you didn’t have to tolerate such hurtfullness.
Jennifer @ Town and Country Living
Beautiful story and gorgeous photos!
Shara
I am so happy your son (and you) were treated nicely by that wonderful man. My son has no disabilities, but he was very, very big for his age. People would try to have conversations with him and he wouldn’t respond and they would say, “What is wrong with him?” and I would say, “He is TWO.” My Mom is in a Rehab hospital right now. I notice people talking over her and not TO her and it is terrible. There is nothing wrong with her mind – she was in an accident! The point is, I have learned, that everyone is fighting their own battle and you never know the full story. So, just press on and know that even if someone acts like a doofus one minute, a nice person will come along soon.
susie @ persimmon moon cottage
Thank you for sharing this touching story. Sometimes when we continually encounter ignorant, hurtful, hateful people, we can lose our faith in the goodness of people. I am happy that the man who gave your son and you the clown was able to refresh your (and your readers’) faith in goodness.
The orchid photographs were just beautiful. Were they at the butterfly conservatory, or do you have them in your home?
Shabby chic Sandy
As you can imagine I love this post. Kids can be so cruel..and it is worse that their parents aren’t any better. There has been many times that kids will mention how much Gage and Wyatt look exactly alike and then say, “What happened to him?” pointing at Gage. I just explain it to them. Most of the time they just want to know why he is in the wheelchair. But then on the other hand…I feel kind of freaked out at all the kids and adults that will say “Hi Gage” when we are out in public. It kinda freaks me out that people know Gage that I don’t know. Overprotective Mom I guess. I think the world is getting better though there are still some insensitive ones like the one you mentioned. I love the clown story. It is so weird…it could be worth money! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story!
Musings from Kim K.
You are an awesome mom. I wish everyone had the heart of the man at the antique mall. Hugs!
Tricia
I’m so sorry that you and your son had to go through that. I almost think that the behavior of the parents is worse than that of their children. How can they not say anything to them about their comments? It’s nice that you were able to encounter some kindness the following day…too bad more people aren’t like that.
Linda @ A La Carte
Pam I am so sorry this happened to you and your son. Also that these parents lost a great opportunity to teach their children kindness and that not everyone is the same. I know my daughter will teach my Grandson these things, she works with disabled children herself. Thank goodness for the kindness shown by the antique owner even if it is kinda a ‘creepy’ clown! 🙂 hugs, Linda
[email protected]
So glad that kindness won out!!! You are a GREAT MOM!!!
TracyMB @ Crows Feet Chic
Hugs to you both. It always amazes me how the actions of strangers has such an effect on us – good and bad. I wish more people were the clown givin’ type. I sure hope that the mothers of those children went home and thought about their inaction and the opportunity they missed to teach their children an important lesson. I’m so glad the clown day trumped the conservatory day and I’m with you — public places are not playgrounds.
I almost said something to two women in a store yesterday who’s kids were running and screaming like they were at the park. It really takes away from other folk’s enjoyment. There is a time and place for everything. There is no time and place for ignorance — I really do hope those mothers do better next time. xo
Jean Poylini
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Other Mrs. Miller
That creepy looking clown got a whole lot better looking after reading your whole post.
Polly McCormick
I give you such credit for thinking those words in your head rather than saying them to that rude kid. I’m sorry you had such a bad day at the Conservatory, that should always be a beautiful experience. So good to hear that there’s still good guys left in this world too! Go antique mall employee!! Hope you love your new{old} oil cans!!
[email protected] at the Crossroads
Pam,
When I was teaching, I got so tired of telling kids how they should behave. In my experience, so many parents want to be their kid’s buddy, not their parent! So sad, but I’m glad that the kindness of another stranger turned your day around for the better!
Jane
Pam, I’m just catching up on blog reading and came across this post. It is really sad that adults would rather turn their heads than take an opportunity to talk with their children about disabilities and the challenges that people face. I can’t begin to express how much I admire you. As Bruce’s disease progressed I became his sole caregiver and I know first hand how difficult that role is. But as difficult as I know things have to be at times, your positive attitude shines through in every post. You have such a wonderful sense of humor and it is always a pleasure to drop by your blog and see what you’ve been up to. You are truly an inspiration! I’m glad you and your son had a more enjoyable 2nd day while out shopping. The kindness of the vendor does put back a little faith in mankind. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Jane
Maureen
I just found you today and have added your button to my blog list so I will be sure to return. But I just wanted to say, you will always remember that kind gentleman when you look at that clown.
The awful parents of the rude kids? You’ll forget them.
One nice person makes up for ten bad ones.
Linda @ Itsy Bits And Pieces
I pick the way of the clown, too, Pam…wonderful post! XO
JunkStuffTreasures
Shame on those parents. Children can be forgiven, but adults should know better. What a perfect teaching moment that would have been to explain that people are people/everyone is different.
I have an autistic son and in the past, I have gone over to adults who were staring and asked (well, maybe confronted) them about their rude behavior. Life is hard enough, who needs additional stresses?
I’m glad you found a “friend” in the antiques booth owner.