Well, it's been one year since my Mom died.
I have alternated between dreading this anniversary and wishing it would just hurry up and get here.
And now it's here.
In reality though, my Mom left us a long time ago. She had a form of dementia similar to Alzheimer's.
The last few years were hard on her. You see she had watched my Grandmother be ravaged by dementia in the 1960's and my Mom was always petrified that she would get it too.
And she was right to be scared of it. It is not fun.
In her last year or so of life it was a crap shoot as to whether she would know who I was when I went to see her. I used to pause before I came through the door of her nursing home, wondering which Mom I would see that day.
The one who greeted me by name, proudly introduced me to the nurses and asked me about my son.
Or the Mom who stared at me like I was a nurse coming to take her temperature.
I could see the difference in her eyes when she looked at me. No joy that I was there. No spark of recognition.
Oh crap, it was going to be one of those days!
On those occasions I just carried on my conversation like she did know who I was. Hoping that at some point in my one sided conversation something inside her brain would make the connection and she would snap out of it. She never did.
I would cut those visits shorter than I had anticipated and fumble for an excuse as to why I had to leave.
But it's been a year since she officially left us. I think about her every day. I probably always will, because your Mom is your Mom even if she doesn't remember that that is who she is.
Christy
Thanks for stopping by, I will enjoy getting to know you through your blog. I love the vintage photos. I think you should start collecting dog figurines, they are so fun. they put a smile on my face whenever I see them. sorry for your loss. God Bless!
Brenda Kula
I'm so sorry that your last memories of/with her are sad ones. But I'm also glad the one year anniversary is behind you. When I lost my best friend five years ago, every anniversary after the first one became easier.
Brenda
⚜ ↁℯℬℬᴵℰ⚜
Pam I am so sorry about your Mom. I will say you looked so much like her when she was young, it was amazing. My sweet southern friend I just wrote about last week...today is her Mom's same anniversary date of passing as well. I am sad for both of you...but know you are thinking of all the good memories.
Debbie
Hi Pam...your tribute to your mom is wonderful. such a loving memory of her, with all the pictures too.
I hope you can remember more of the good times, than the last few years.
Sending a big hug.
Debbie@lakehouse
Kelly
Sweet yet heartbreaking post. Many prayers to you on this day.
Mary
Pam, the first anniversary is always difficult. Hold on to the good memories today and the day will pass. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Blessings...Mary
shannon i olson
precious photos, precious memories all the same. Some times it can be so hard.
Sorry for your loss.
Tricia - A Rosy Note
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom Pam. This is a very nice tribute to her. My grandma had dementia too, so I know how hard it can be...wishing for a for moments of who they once were. Your photos are wonderful 🙂
Karen
I'm very sorry for your loss, Pam. It's hard to lose a parent, no matter when they leave us. My mom has been gone for 10 years and I still think of her every day. I hope that you find comfort in the good memories that you have.
Honey at 2805
This is a wonderful tribute to your mother. And the vintage pictures of her are a real treasure.
Honey at 2805
This is a wonderful tribute to your mother. And the vintage pictures of her are a real treasure.
Honey at 2805
This is a wonderful tribute to your mother. And the vintage pictures of her are a real treasure.
Vintagesouthernlife
What a sweet tribute to your mother. The first year is the hardest.I still think about my dad every day but the pain is not as great.
I am just starting the dementia journey with my mom.
Know that her confusion is gone and that she is happy once again.
sweet european dreams
hi Pam. Such sweet devotion to your mother. I am blessed in that both of my parents are still alive, but I still mourn the loss of my grandmother - she's been gone 23 years now.
Here's a little something that may just cheer you up - you're my 200th follower, so I'm sending you a little treat in the mail. I'm off to see if I can find your contact info now. Have a blessed weekend - it's almost here!
Olive Cooper
Pam, this post and the last one are so sweet and I can just feel your love for her shining through. hugs♥O
LV
A lovely tribute to your mother. I hate to see people get in that condition. You feel so helpless.